It's already 29/10/2010. 2 weeks have passed since school re-opened. I'm still alive here.
1.53am. Fuck. I promised to be in bed by 1. Argh. I've gotta wake up by 6.30 to not miss the 8.30 lesson. Feel's like i'm losing contact with my dota kaki's. Doesn't feel like as if i'm that close to them alr. Most of them, at least.
My current class, 1B/04. Still makes me feel outcasted. The only way i have to get closer, is dota. -.- Other than that i'm like not much of close friends with most of them.
I'm still glad i got my brothers to fall on. My last motivation now is to strive for my studies, and do better in my academics. I'm not bothered much about relationships now. I just wanna be myself.
Dear Viper, you've gotta hold it on.
Saturday, October 23, 2010{ 2:18 AM }
I need a haircut. It's been so long since i got mine cut. :( Maybe tomorrow. If i can find the strength to climb to snipe avenue to get it done at just $2.80. :)
Sometimes it all seems so, strange? I'm an outcast in the current class that i am in. Because i came from elsewhere, and yet when i'm out of class, i have hell loads of more people that i know. It's strange isn't it? That i can walk down the t19 building to fc6 and meet more people that i know than in that one small classroom.
A first step to know them? It's not that easy. Though i admit i have no problems making friends with anyone, i still think it's not gonna be easy to do so here. In this class, it's like as if i am there just for the sake of having to get it all over and done with. I can probably use both my hands and count the people i know. Amazing? Fantastically amazing. Sigh, and with such classmates, how will i survive this sem? Besides, i still have to occasionally take classes with the worst ever, 1A24. Horrible class. -.- The guys there ALL either nerds/act bengs. -.- How pathetic is that. I miss 1A02. Totally, having Low to make fun of, Hao to play around with, joke with Zhen Yee, and my own gang of bros. With all the old times, we could go lunch/home and anywhere else together. I miss those times. "How do i get home, if i can't find myself?"- Pendulum.
It's those times, where i can't ever go back to, which i miss the most. Life is a mystery. Whoever you are now, you might not be tomorrow. The hand you hold today, might be the one who back stabs you tomorrow. It's that truthfully cruel.
Dear Viper, Live free, Die hard.
Friday, October 22, 2010{ 12:16 AM }
It's 12.17am, i need to G.T.S asap. It's another 8.30 lesson. Damn, i'm tired, but T.G.I.F! Anw, imma gts once i finish listening to the song titled 'Last Call'.
It's gotten better, living past these 2 days. Although being separated from my usual kaki, sigh. Abit sian. I've got a fiery temper. Recently, i can't stand myself sia. Very irritating person, only want all everything to go his way. Tsk, i need to change.
I've patched up with Mukhlis i guess. Hatred can't go on forever, all i can be now, is be wary, and not fall for anything like this again. It's my life, just gotta live it the right way. :)
It's now 12.22 i need to sleep. The song is ending. Hands up don't ask why, you won't remember tonight. :)
Dear Viper, one more hit before we wake up, one more song before we make up? :) It's not just lyrics, it's inspiring music.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010{ 7:20 AM }
I'm awake. Classes start at 10.30 today. I'm up at 7.20. My house internet works only at 8am. What retarded-ness. Sigh. I slept early last night. I can't believe my friends are like that. I can just ignore them for the week. The only entertainment i have left, dota with them, is gone too. What else does the lord still wanna take away from me? I've lost my friends, my entertainment. I'm all alone here now, and yeah. How great is my life now? All i have left, is to pick myself back up and continue down that road.
Dear Viper, you never wanted it like this, like this before.
Monday, October 18, 2010{ 9:38 PM }
I broke down. like 10 seconds after finishing the previous post. Everything came crashing down to me. Reality, Is the only real thing.
Dear Viper, don't stress yourself too much. Remember.
{ 9:14 PM }
I can't believe my friends, all just ditched me, to play IH. I am SICK and TIRED of trying to organise things. How often has someone ditched my plans for his/her own? How often does what i plan come out to be perfect? This is serious bullshit la? I text to ask if we're playing before i even came home. Next, i come home, and msn the peeps to play. I called raymond and kendog before i bathed to ensure we're playing PUB AND WE GOT FUCKING 5 PEOPLE? And then, i go to eat. I said i would be back by 8.45, even though i came back by 8.55, i immediately msn-ed and came online skype to ask them to play. NEXT MOMENT THEY HAVE AN IN HOUSE, AND I'M NOT PLAYING? WHAT THE FUCK? IT'S FUCKING NO SENSE. COME ON, I TRIED ORGANISING, I TRIED GETTING US A GAME TO PLAY, NEXT MIN IH AND I NO NEED PLAY. FUCK YOU LA. CCB.
Seriously bullshit. Even kendog ditched me. Seriously? How many years of friendship did we have again ? And you don't know how to call me and ask if i wanna join? What the Fuck. WHAT KIND OF FUCKING FRIENDS ARE YOU PEOPLE? START W/O ME, YOU LEAVE ME A DAMN SLOT, AND DON'T TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK WE ARE PLAYING. THANK YOU PEOPLE. I LOVE MY FUCKING RETARDED FRIENDS. CCB. I DULAN MAX NOW. KNN. CB, AND I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO COMING HOME TO PLAY, DE-STRESS AND LET OFF SOME STEAM. YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING BAD IT IS ALR IN SCH? ALL I SEE IS EVERYONE PASSING MODULES AND STAYING TOGETHER IN THE SAME CLASS. AND ME AND JIAN PING? NOT EVEN IN THE SAME CLASS AND GETTING SENT TO SEPERATE CLASSES? IT'S ALREADY BAD ENOUGH FOR ME IN SCHOOL. HOW THE FUCK DO I LIVE WITH ALL THIS PRESSURE?
It's just the 1st day, there's a long way to go. And to think i thought of the phrase " When you truely are alone, you realise how much your friends means to you." FUCKLOAD OF FUCK. CCB. WHEN I'M ALONE, I AM ALONE. Who's my friend when i need one?
It's just day one. I can't take it.
{ 1:36 AM }
You know, school starts tomorrow. I haven't blogged for ages. And since i know i did so pathetically poor last sem, and ended up in a cui class, i know i have to buck up.
It's 1.38am. I need to wake up by 7.15am.
Sometimes, i don't want to be in a relationship. It'll stop me from all the freedom i enjoy. And sometimes, i want one so badly, see-ing other couples able to hug one another, hold hands and say sweet nothings to one another, it kinda makes me Jealous. Haha. But i am who i am, and i can't change that. I've changed much, from who i was then to who i am today.
Love, it's a sad story. But from my pov, (w/o saying who it is.) i can see my dear friend Mr K, who so loves Miss A so much, suffering. He tells me he won't fall into the mistake he make then, but it's so clear that he's so badly in love with her, that he claims one fact at a time, and then does another at another time. Miss A is so blinded up everything around her that she can remain good friends with Mr K because she thinks he has gotten over her. But yet, the story goes like what happened to me then in june. But, the salvation to this situation is that, he is hopeful, i was hopeless. However, in this case, isn't it better to have a close-friends r/s than a BG r/s? I mean, It's a fair world. Things don't have to change if they find out he likes her or sth right? I mean it's alright for a girl to be loved, and even if she doesn't want it, she doesn't need to send the crushing fact to the guy that NO I DON'T NEED THE DAMN LOVE. -.- Come on, the guy has feelings too right? :D One-sided? That's just plain sad. We've all got choices in this world, it all depends on what you choose to do now, which determines your next course of action. If Miss A or Mr K ever see this, i know they might throw a tantrum over it right? But, what's the point? I'd rather you guys stay good friends than throw a good friendship away for nothing. (<<<>
Mr R, if u ever see this, don't come kp me or anything. THIS IS MY DAMN BLOG, I CAN WRITE WHATEVER I LIKE. LALALA~
Hahaha. If only, Miss A and Mr K got together? He would enjoy the sweetness of success, the taste that even i, the viper, hasn't tasted.
Good Luck Mr K, don't get your hopes too high up though, for you never know when it might just, come crashing down.
It's clearly OBVIOUS who i'm talking about anw, but for the safety of my life, i'd not name who it is, and leave it to be a guessing game, or maybe a fictional storyline of mine. :D
In life, it's an importance to strike a balance. I need to do so now, and starting now, i swear i won't be playing much until the weekends. Weekdays i will probably not play TOOOO MUCH. :(
So sorry to my kakis. :D BOBIAN, I NEED TO STEP GAS LIAO, PIA AH!
It's 1.52am now. I need to sleep soon.
Dear Viper, will you ever get the girl of your dreams? Who knows, cupid might be watching. Amen.
{ 1:34 AM }
Pick yourself back up. You know you need to. And strive to achieve hell loads of better results than last sem. Put all your setbacks behind yourself. Tell yourself you need to focus. You need to do better.
