Friday, January 21, 2011
{ 11:23 PM }
I wonder what's caught up to me. I'm like as if i'm so caught up with wanting to be in love. It's strange. When you think you have a chance. An opportunity. But you're actually not afraid to take it. But yet afraid of the end product. What would happen if i fail? Again. I'm so sick of failing to get a relationship. When i really like the person, it'll never ever work out. Why? I'm the fault? I swear i give 101% for a relationship if i want it. And yet. i tried for months. To make the last one work out. And tada. Okay. Maybe that was an unattainable hope? If i fail at this attempt at love, i'm not planning to try any time soon. I don't know. She just happened to appear and catch my eye. My heart. The tore and tattered me. I just think she'll be the one whom i can rely on. Since we're so close and nonsensical together. I'm lost. Clearly unlike myself. But yet i need someone. To be there for me.
I'm such a different person from whom i might appear to be. To everyone around me, i might be that awesomely fun to be with person. But i'm not really. I'm just acting that way. I am sociable. But it's a different matter when the mood is not there. You might think i'm ever fun to be with.
Sometimes.
Still, i don't understand how i'm planning to get myself to be in a relationship with you. It's gonna be weird to say. Hey. I think we click well. I like you. :D And have that happy ending. It's not gonna come so easily i think. I'm sure it ain't. Fiq's advice to me. I almost wanted to go tell her how i felt. But he told me that i should go close with her. Then slowly slither, slither, and strike when i'm poised. To be an opportunist. But. How can i ?
It's sad. When you ain't got no one who loves you. When you appear to be strong on the farside, and weak and powerless in reality.
Dear Viper. You're awesome. Now prove it.
